Letting Her Down Gently

3 05 2010

So it’s Monday and I’m back from a long weekend. I’ve been nailing this chick in such a way that would make Jesus, a carpenter, proud. I made my intentions and the intentions of my dick, which has a mind of its own, very clear. We both just wanted to get wet, but this psycho wanted more. She wouldn’t stop with the relationship talk. Plus, she wasn’t into the whole threesome thing which meant there was no way I could accomplish the double BJ sandwich achievement with her. I had to let her down gently…in an e-mail because I’m too much of a pussy to do it face to face. To retain any sort of dignity I may have lost in doing so…ahh fuck it. Here’s the letter, I know you’re all anxious to read it:

“It’s not you, it’s me. I’m going to change, though. For the better. They say that if you truly love something you can let it go and if it comes back to you then it was meant to be. I don’t mean to insult you by insinuating that you’re a pronoun (it). I just think that our time is dwindling and that the hourglass is past half empty…for now. That may change in time or it may not. I guess what I’m trying to say can be best summed up by the great poet, Gwenivere. “If I could be sweet…I know I’ve been a real bad girl. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.” I’m sorry for making love…out of nothing at all. Goodbye, Mel”

“PS Please keep in touch so we can still fuck. K, bai.
Sent from my iPhone”

Have you ever had to break up with someone via e-mail? If so then let me know how it went. If not, then you have no business intruding in this conversation, fuckface.

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One response

3 05 2010

I hired a scammer to break up with my ex via e-mail.

He sent her an e-mail saying I had an important message for her. 3 pages and all of her personal information later, the break-up note was delivered.

Last I heard she moved to Canada.

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