Hotass of the Week: Rima

19 05 2010

Girls are like ice cream. They come in innumerableĀ flavors and make a man happy (unless the dude is gay/lactose intolerant, respectively). In my book of sexual conquests I have a whole section dedicated to foreign women such as the 2010 Miss USA winner, Rima Fakih. Though she is arguably the most controversial winner to date, she is also one of the hottest. I honestly have no idea why people are waiting until now to recognize her as an immigrant. With a name like ‘Rima Fakih,’ it’s pretty fucking obvious. Then again, the USA is usually pretty bad with recognizing terrorist names up front [zing!]. This being said, pageant officials have begun to question her morals and not just for the explosions she caused in the loins of many American males. The real issue is a question of her morality due to recently surfaced pole dancing photos which I will gladly share:

If here viable candidacy is a question of being a true American then consider this. All American girls have stripped at least a handful of times in their lives. If not, then those are the ones that should be outcasts. America is a country founded on foreigners and tits, deal with it.





Fuck JillianĀ Michaels

5 05 2010

What has low fat content, 5-7 calories per serving, and traces of zinc?

Nowadays, many chicks are obsessed with calorie intake and health food. I say, great, if it makes them look more fuckable.

Now, refer to the aforementioned question. The answer isn’t Coke Zero, it’s semen. People like Jillian Michaels need to lay off the wheat grass and take a few shots of the white stuff instead. Not only does it have a recommended amount of vitamins, it’s also great for the skin, and is a potential cure for lesbians of their illness.

I have such faith in its benefits that I might release a health video entitled, “The Thirty Day Load.” It will be a guide for a month long daily dose of concentrated protein that you simply won’t find at your local Jamba Juice.

Here’s another already satisfied customer:

A Full Day's Supply

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